Why is dating so hard for gay men

Already contributed? However, we often mistake the ease and casualness of the sex we can, and do have, as something other than what it really is. It literally is scientifically driven due to the fact that we have testosterone pumping through our bodies.

Who do we want to be? Continuing the conversation from the last point, we often are beyond indecisive about what it is that we really want. Do we want to get married? Dating is difficult in general, but gay dating is even harder. Unlike heterosexual individuals who make up the majority of the population, gay individuals represent a smaller percentage of the overall population.

Being gay adds another level of complexity to the dating process, and because we’re all men, we make this process of looking for a mate all the more difficult. Revert back to points 1 and 2. Once we break the norm, and find comfortability within our own sexuality, everything else is up for debate.

Add to the fact that when we go to gay bars, almost everyone in that room is a possible partner in some way, and our chances are doubled. Join the HuffPost Community. Who, if we do meet, we most likely end up sleeping with, and confusing the relationship further.

Dating is difficult in general, but gay dating is even harder. Sex is great, but sex with substance is harder and harder to come by the more casual we are about this physical act. As gay men the testosterone levels are doubled in the dating world, and we are constantly playing with fire as we try to think with our brains and not our dicks.

Who do we want to date? Going one step deeper into the conversation about gay men and sex, we have to acknowledge how easy it is to find sex.

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Add to the fact that our culture is obsessed with imagery and sex, and it becomes almost impossible to escape thoughts of sex. So when we finally do come out, we often confuse this as dealing with our issues, when in fact, this is just the beginning to dealing with what our issues really are.

Being gay is confusing. For many gay men, that can feel impossible because the trauma runs so deep. Many gay men lament the challenges they have with meeting dating prospects and maintaining those relationships once established.

Additionally, many of us grew up insecure and full of shame, so part of coming out is feeling sexually liberated.

Why do so many

To truly. The surface answers often point to familiar culprits: gay men are too superficial, the dating culture is dominated by apps like Grindr, which many say prioritize quick hookups over meaningful connections, and a pervasive focus on physical appearance and sex leaves little room for genuine emotional intimacy.

But these explanations only scratch the surface. So what’s really going on? Another reason why dating as a gay person can be difficult is the limited dating pool. We feel like we have to hide a part of ourselves everyday for many formative years, which means we are neglecting other parts of ourselves that should be receiving precious energy.

Join today and support our work. Log in to hide these messages. As gay men we grow up hiding parts of ourselves because gay still is considered different, and in a lot of places, bad. To make things worse, a lot of gays don't have parental or familial support to help them navigate dating, so they're often flying solo and in a constant state of improvisation.

Do we want kids? Do we want to be monogamous? It’s one of the primary problems singles share in therapists’ and love coaches’ offices around the country. Membership connects you to a movement of readers who believe good journalism builds a better world.